Dashed hopes

I stood there, watching the dust cloud settle as the little remaining joy in my life drove into the sunset. How can I feel so helpless about it when I did it all knowingly. Even I thought that I was only half-joking when I said, I could make her hate me and be angry at me. After 2 months I did not know of any other way to help her move on. And until she does, I can't.

Now that the beats of this relationship have flatlined, I am sort of relieved that there is no one for as far as I can see. It takes away the ambiguity and any remaining hope.

Surprisingly, that is what I need to be at peace, desolation.