Hope and Rejection

I have been feeling guilty, and so I know I did something wrong. It is simply cruel to scratch the wounds and keep them fresh, of your own and those of others. I can't believe in moments of desperation I became so eccentric that I started hurting people I love. This is unacceptable and I feel terrible. I deserved to be locked away so that I stop hurting people around me.

I take away choices, I push my way around, I give and then I take away. Hope followed by rejection. How damaged do you have to be to do that?

I have to be better than this. It is ok to break a heart but it is not ok to keep breaking it everyday. I just need to get my shit together and limit the collateral damage.

I am resolved that I will not reach out, I won't interrupt the healing process. I wish she finds the her shore. Meanwhile, I will use this dumping ground to vent out myself until I am exhausted or possibly start looking forward to something. This journey must be taken alone and cannot be undertaken by stomping on others feelings to find the way.

I am glad I have this place. I don't know what I would do otherwise. I know I can do this on my own.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.