Okay

I pretend to be okay. When I woke up this morning, I realised that part of me refused to wake up with me today. Maybe it is hibernating or maybe it is dead. The general wisdom says, don't poke the bear when it is sleeping. So I decided to let it be.

I pretend to be okay, while I have these moments of rage. Ones when I look for a quiet corner to brood. The moment when my feet pushes the pedal to the floor, momentarily. The moment when I just want to put my head on the table and stare at my shoes. And then the sensibility gushes in. Trying to drown this insanity. It doesn't know that insanity does not need to breathe. It cannot be choked.

I pretend to be okay. I have been told, ok is not a feeling. It is a filler to help you lock out your true feelings. It is a facade. And behind that facade everything is often anything but okay.

The quiet in my heart is louder than the chaos in mind
I pretend to move forward, while I keep hitting rewind
At the cusp of this cliff, the void below is calling out to me
screaming loud to abandon my love and set myself free

So that's what I'll do today