Recovering melancholic

I started at 10 pm. It is 3:22. What am I going to tell her, if she ever finds out? She is going to be so mad. She can never find out. That's five and half hours of drinking. Tonight I have become everything I was ever worried about.

Just typing that title broke me down. I looked at myself in the mirror and questioned if it really mattered how I looked. Why do I care? No one else does. It may not be true, but in some ways it is. I have been rope walking for last 5

I pretend to be okay. When I woke up this morning, I realised that part of me refused to wake up with me today. Maybe it is hibernating or maybe it is dead. The general wisdom says, don't poke the bear when it is sleeping. So I decided to let

It is new years eve. Honestly, I have never cared about them and this one isn't any more special. I want this day to be as uneventful as possible. I want my life to be boring for a while. 2023 was the year that I will remember forever. I have

Fuck them

Night is the hardest. It absconds from the humdrum and ambient noise of the life. The eerie silence never fails to remind you of the loneliness that perpetually surrounds you. Invisible, lurking but always there. There could be million people thinking about you, but the only thing that pierces through

Today I have run out of music and I dwell in my dreams. Keeping the eyes shut. Listening noise to crowd the mind with thoughts and empty the heart of feelings. It may not look healthy but it is simpler. The pillow I cling to is my buoy today. Giving

We could have been hugging each other, but for the first time I felt the distance that I have not felt before. Felt incredibly alone. With everything that has happened in last few weeks, it feels like I am actively working on isolating myself day after day. Exhausting people around

The eerie quiet around me unnatural and unknown I managed to wither myself free into the freedom of being alone

It was the end of the road for her. She had known that for a while, I knew it only in that moment. She had slipped away and continued to go further with every passing moment. The machines continued to whirr and beep. The mouth lay half open and eyes

The space that separates us space that surrounds me has me huddled in a corner when it was suppose to set me free Battling against my own thoughts mind attempting to deceive and delude me with its intricately crafted constraints when it was suppose to set me free Questioning choices,

It is like a habit, just going back to the same place again and again to see if there is a message. Knowing very well that there might not be one. And when there isn't one, I try not to take it personally. Afterall this is what I asked for.

Today morning it just hit me how little control I have on my life. An uninterrupted sleep through the night was something I took for granted for so long. Sometimes I wish, I could abandon everyone & everything around me and be gone for a while. Unfortunately I am not sure,

As the rubber hits the tarmac, I am no more in transit. I am supposed to be home now. The consequences of my decisions is reality of my life now. I have chosen a path and I must go down that path. As I leave the cross roads behind with

Time. My worst fear. I worried, we would have lost it only to realise that it is too late to make a change in our lives. I didn't want to borrow time from you that I wouldn't be able to give back to you. And now that you are not

Love can overpower our sanity and reason. The ask to help replace the love you feel, sounds unreasonable and almost vengeful. Yet, I agreed, knowing that even the thought of seeing another person slowly inch into my place, is heart wrenching. It is an incredibly difficult position to be in.

Lost in a sea of people, I go where my steps take me. Huddled between strangers, miles above the ocean, there is nowhere I need to be. On a journey with no destination in sight, I dwell in these dark places, far away from light. I wish I was just

Months ago, I was in this city, fervently typing my heart out to you. It is a bit ironical that my next trip here has concluded our time together. Almost as if our life together has come a full circle. We were here for a reason and a season. Our

I am sitting here, my back squeezing the pillow into the wall. I close my eyes, and I am transported to your living room. Giggling and lazing around on the red floor. Nothing else mattered. I have never looked at someone when I kissed them. But I looked at you.