Stoic

I am surprisingly devoid of emotions this morning. I imagined my body would refuse to get out of the bed today. But I did and made tea for dad. I am going to get into a shower. It feels like my mind is actively trying to partition my life. The one on the weekend, where a sadness washes over me and the one on the weekday, where it tries to stay focused and dispassionate.

I have mountain of work in front of me. I know there will be moments and I know I am grieving somewhere deep down. But right now, it feels like my mind and body are acclimatising to help me move without compromising my day to day sanity. This feel weird

I have set myself back on my weight and gained enough in short amount of time. But it is ok. I will not exert too much control on myself will just continue healthy eating for this week and hopefully I'll be back on track.

So today is just empty. There is no sadness, no rage, no joy. I feel like a boulder, sitting in one place, weathering whatever time will bring. Just being stoic.